Oh Mam, I wish you where here. My lifes a mess and my heart is shattered. I love him so much, tonights hard and tomorrow will be harder. Ella is missing him like mad, that hurts too. I'm praying to God Mam for a mirical but what will be will be I can't change it. Somewhere somehow I'll have to find some strenght in me to deal with it for Ellas sake alone. I've lost you, Dad and my beautiful Star WHY do I have to lose Chris too?????????? It's just getting too much now Mam, I feel so alone, just me and Ella against the world but I feel astho I have the world on my shoulders. I need some help Mam again and as always eh!! I'm sorry my life got this bad bet you and Dad wonder what the hell Happened to me. I miss you both so much. Please send my love, huge hugs and kisses to my Star. And please try and help me. Love you Mam Claire xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx